By Shannon Penrod
The week between Christmas and New Year’s is my favorite time of year. It’s a week when you really can’t get anything done. You can try to clean house but no matter how hard you try there is still a pile of christmas presents here a wad of tinsel there, here an ornament, there a re-gift, everywhere a bon- bon. So instead of attempting the impossible I like to take the week and reflect on what it means to have another year pass…and I make New Year’s resolutions. I LOVE to make New Year’s Resolutions, I’m not as good at keeping them, but I gather that just makes me human.
As I think back over the years and all the resolutions, kept and unkept, a pattern emerges. The resolutions I made because “I felt I should” didn’t get anywhere close to accomplished. The resolutions I made because I wanted to…those resolutions ended up adding real value to my life. So here are this year’s resolutions…anyone one to take bets on which ones I actually keep?
1. Write more. Writing is one of my greatest joys in life. I enjoy it, but I often feel guilty about taking the time to do it. Let’s face it, it’s a time suck. Last year I decided to make it my guilty pleasure and just allow myself the time as a gift. This year I plan to re-gift the time to myself again and forget about the guilt.
2. Exercise more. Yep, this is one of those resolutions that traditionally doesn’t make it past February. The truth is I don’t want to exercise more, but I feel like I have to. This year might be different though. I’ve started working with a personal trainer (more on this later) who made me do an equation to roughly determine the number of days I have left on this planet. Yipes! It turns out that statistically I have less than 10,000 days left to live, laugh and love. And that’s assuming that I stay in good health! Well, it’s lit a little fire under my butt – which was the whole point – and I need more energy, more health, more strength and less pain if I’m going to accomplish what I have planned for those 10,000 days! So exercise here I come!
3. Be present more. I’m someone who likes to “check out” mentally. There are times when it is necessary for the creative process, but sometimes I get a little too addicted to that part of my left brain that is completely unaware of the passage of time, and I miss things. In giving myself the time to write I also need to remind myself that when I’m done writing I need to be fully in the present. So this year as a gift to myself, and my child, and my husband I am going to make a conscious effort to be more mentally present. Joy never happens in the past, or the future, only in the present and I am courting joy.
4. Set boundaries and respect them, regardless of what others think or do. Ugh! Even writing the sentence was painful. This is one of those resolutions that I really fear for. I am not good at boundaries. Over the years I’ve gotten better at saying, “No.” but I still need to work on respecting my own, “No.” I suffer from that pesky disease known as people pleasing. This year I’m going to attempt (gulp) to let go of that infernal need to please total strangers and worry more about pleasing myself and my immediate family. I’m shaking in my shoes over it, but it has to be done.
5. Design the life I want. Sometimes things happen that you cannot change and so you accept them. You re- prioritize everything, you make allowances and you suck it up. When Autism came to live at our house there was a massive shift in priorities, and for the last five years my husband and I have triumphantly sucked it up. I wouldn’t change that for anything, but this year my son will graduate from his intensive ABA program at The Center for Autism and Related Disorders and all bets are off. This year we will begin to create a life that doesn’t revolve around Autism, Clinics and Therapy sessions. Take that Autism!
6. Celebrate more. Someone sent me something that Erma Bombeck wrote after she found out she had cancer. She wrote about all of the things she wished she’d done; like having more dinner parties instead of worrying about the stains on her carpet. I don’t know whether it’s the economy or just getting older but I have gotten into a habit of postponing celebrations. My husband and I weren’t able to celebrate our anniversary on the day this year – It was July 15th and we were flying across the country that day – so we agreed to postpone. You guessed it – it still hasn’t happened. This year I vow to celebrate more, and stop postponing joy. Parties, picnics, playdates, game nights and dates with my husband, it’s all officially a priority.
7. Make a difference. I learned a lot this year about how little effort it takes to make a difference. This year I want to expand on that concept and see how big of a difference can be made with a larger effort.
So there it is, my resolutions for 2011. I might actually be able to keep these. If I do I will be a happy, healthy, well adjusted adult making a contribution, If I don’t I’ll be an out of shape, wheezing, sniveling people pleaser with no time to do anything that matters and takes solace in playing computer games and watching too much TV. Okay! I’m motivated!
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