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Archive for June, 2011

by Shannon Penrod

I’m not terribly good and beginnings and endings.  I like middles.  Beginnings are bumpy and fraught with unexpected muck.  Endings are messy and emotional.  Today is an ending and I am definitely feeling messy and emotional.  While I am writing this my son is in the next room having his last session with one of his ABA therapists.  5 1/2 years ago I remember hearing the word Autism in connection with my son and feeling like I was stepping off a cliff into a hole that had no bottom.  It was a messy beginning to say the least. But, that was then and this is now.  I’m sitting on the sofa crying because I can’t believe we actually did it. Somehow we managed to rearrange our lives to accommodate an army of trained therapists parading  through our home, coaxing our child out inch by inch, hour by hour, year by year until we  finally arrived here.  Here is unbelievably good.

I remember the first time I ever drove to California. I couldn’t help but wonder at the tenacity of the first settlers who reached the Rocky Mountains and decided to scale them to get to the other side.  For the first time I understood why places like Denver became cities.  A whole lot of people looked at those mountains and decided it just wasn’t worth it.  I always thought I would have been one of those people.  Now, on the other side of the mountain I can’t help but look back and think, “Holy CRAP!!! Did we really just scale that?”  We did.  We really did.

For the last few weeks I’ve been watching this really amazing docu-series on the web, called “The A-Word”.  It follows a family through their early days of diagnosis and getting ABA therapy.  It’s amazing.  I can’t stop talking about it.  For me it’s like getting to relieve those early days without all the fear, without all the uncertainty.  I’m watching the family adjust to the fact that their entire life has been picked up and shaken like a box of Legos, and I find myself crying – because I know how lucky they are.  I don’t know if they know it yet, but I do.  But they are at the beginning and we are at the end.  The Alpha and the Omega of ABA therapy for Autism. Everyone should be so lucky.

I don’t know what the future holds, but I know that this journey has been life defining for me and my family.  Can’t isn’t in our vocabulary anymore.  Hope is something that has legs.  Fear is just false evidence appearing real.  Courage is a small child who doesn’t give up.  Love is never giving up.  Hard is meaningless and everything is possible.

So, what do you do to mark such a moment occasion?  We already had the party, we already went to Disneyland so today we’re just going to be normal and go see the premiere of CARS 2.  That’s what 8-year-old boys want to do on a Friday night; and starting today that’s who my son is, an 8-year-old boy, just like everyone else.  It is our new Alpha.

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By Shannon Penrod

Just when I think I have the food thing figured out I hear God laughing again.  He laughs at me a lot.  I eat really healthy, my child eats really healthy, I can’t speak for my husband but let’s just say he eats healthier now than he ever has and leave it at that.  My child willing eats vegetables, even requests them, so I must be doing something right.  Still….I read and wonder.  I am religious about having my son on a GFCF diet (Gluten Free/casein Free for those of you outside the Autism community), he is also free of sugar and artificial sweeteners.  This is not a some time thing, it’s an all the time thing.  I’m the crazy woman at the birthday party with the weird-looking cupcake and the sliced beets on my kid’s pizza.  So you would think that I am crazy organic too and great friends with a group of sustainable farmers.  Yeah…not so much.

I don’t know if the rest of you have noticed, but organic stuff is expensive.  I’m talking EXPENSIVE!  I used to care more about organic before the whole Autism thing came to live at my house.  But Autism is even more expensive than organic vegetables so it won the fist fight.  Now I’m thinking that may have been a bad choice.  A new study has come out that suggests that ADHD may be linked to pesticides.  Apparently pesticides are designed to disrupt something in the bug’s neurotransmitter system.  I didn’t know that, I thought it just killed them.  That probably sounds stupid, but I never thought about it before.  I just figured it choked the bugs somehow that wasn’t great but wasn’t all that harmful to humans.  You’re talking to the woman who used to run into the fog made by the DDT truck when she was a child.  Those pesticides probably killed the neurotransmitters in my brain that allow for higher thinking about pesticides.  I digress.

If this pesticide disrupts the bugs neurotransmitters and we eat vegetables that are sprayed with it doesn’t it stand to reason that we would see a BUNCH of people having neurotransmitter issues?  Oh, yeah, we have. Hmmmm.  How about that skyrocketing rate of Autism, ADD, ADHD,  Depression, BiPolar disorders and the list goes on.  So I am arranging to have an organic farm co-op bring us a box of food every week.  I don’t see how I can’t.  It’s not even that expensive, maybe $10 more a week than I would have spent, but I would have spent that in gas driving to 3 different stores.  It’s an adventure.  I’ll let you know how it goes!

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by Shannon Penrod

I am an admitted control freak.  The worst part of being a control freak for me is my unshakeable belief that I can solve all of your problems if you would just let me.  I have no desire to work on my problems.  Why would I?  My problems are old, boring and insurmountable, not to mention complicated and convoluted.  On the other hand, your problems are crystal clear – to me, and infinitely solvable if you would just do what I say.  Of course it’s exhausting knowing how to fix your life and watching you resist my plan for you.  Not to mention that quite honestly there are a few things that I need to take care of in my own life that I can’t seem to get to because I’m so entrenched in what you should be doing.  There’s the rub.  You know what they say, when the student is ready, the teacher appears….I must be ready, because my teacher has appeared.

I am reading Bryon Katie’s book, Loving What Is, and I am seeing myself in a way that I haven’t ever before.  Even in the first few pages of the book she has challenged me to consider that there are only 3 types of business – My business, everybody else’s business, and God’s business.  Katie simply asks her reader to examine when ever they are sad, lonely, angry, uncomfortable, cranky or just our of sorts, whose business they are in when feeling that way.  Her supposition is that when you are out of whack it is because you are in business that is not your own.  Ugghhh.  This is a little too close to home.  I live in other people’s business!  Still, I thought I would give it a try.  Oh my!  In the past 24 hours I have discovered that, oddly enough, I am rarely in my own business  AND when I make a conscious choice to let go of other’s business and be in my own business…I am really happy and peaceful.  Who knew?

I can’t wait to read the rest of the book and see what else can happen if I stay in my own business.  Is it really possible that I could turn into one of those really happy, present people who oozes peace like a Buddha on a Benadryl.  I think I would like that.  So here’s the really exciting news, I’m not only reading Byron Katie’s book, I’m interviewing her on my radio show this Monday at 4 pm PST – 7pm EST.  You can tune in and listen to my chat with Katie by visiting www.toginet.com.  Better yet if you want to work on getting your inner Buddha on give us a call during the live show and you can chat with Katie too!  Simply call 877.864.4869 during the live show.  For more information on Bryon Katie and “The Work” that she does visit  www.thework.com. You can find her book, Loving What Is, by visiting here.

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